Heathen Inc.

Sometimes, I think what I'm looking for is a modern religion. Not in the Scientology or New Age style, but 'modern' as in something that's adapted to present day life. Being from an atheist country has something to do with it, I think. Religion is a private thing and you generally don't show it off much. Some people wear crosses - how many of them who really believes in anything is hard to say. Goth is always good for shocking people, or the sort-of-vampire look with the pewter pentagrams or Devil-heads that could double as a anchor on a medium-sized yacht. Hardcore Christians are seen more as entertainment or nutballs than anything (and then there are Muslims, but that issue is a nest of wasps I'll just leave alone here).

Point is, we're not really religious. You don't see CEOs wearing crosses or a Star of David and if that's the kind of career you're aiming for, you sort of have to adapt. What I'm looking for is a religion that can be part of my image just as the suit and the purse and the high-heeled boots can be (or maybe what I'm looking for might also be a more religious society, in a "not completely psycho"-way, but that's another ramble). Second point of the ramble is, Asatru in Denmark doesn't have the best of PR. Asatru in general gets all the fun issues of being associated with skinheads and neo-Nazis, and it isn't that different over here. We have extreme right-wing people exercising their freedom of speech and I cringe every time one of them does a Nazi salute and happens to wear a Thor's Hammer while doing it because that's really publicity we could do without. Really.

One of the big newspapers had an article about non-mainstream religions two years ago or so, one of them being Asatru, and that was the kind of thing we could use some more of. The man they interviewed didn't wear ren-faire clothes or looked like something out of a Viking movie, and he generally looked like a normal, attractive person in casual clothes. The article was sane, straightforward and respectful, and the overall impression was a damn good one. And then you contrast it with one of the few Danish books written aboutAsatru here and you realise that the cover shows a woman in Viking costume. I have nothing against people wearing that but I honestly think that it wasn't the best choice of cover. It's about PR again and our current image is basically that of 'those people who run around and get drunk and play Viking'. There's a lot of overlap, true, but that doesn't change the fact that there are Asatru people who don't do the whole Viking thing, and you get people who are serious about the whole Viking thing but who aren't Asatru.

(And I know I'm probably getting on the bad side of most of the Danish Asatru community with that but I can live with that. I know the book gets recommended a lot, too, but I don't agree with it much. It's nothing personal with the author, it's just that it isn't really a type of Asatru I have much in common with. Doesn't mean it's wrong for other people.)

Maybe, when it all comes down to it, what I'm looking for is Gucci Heathenry - my own little hidey-hole in a mix of atheism and Heathenry, with business suits and designer altars and Odin as the strategist and leader rather than the god of poetry and magic.

Stickies

There are roughly three billion 'divisions' of heathenry at any given time: Asatru, Forn Sed, Heathenry, Theodish Belief, Odinism, Vor Sidr, you name it.

This is not a handy list of definitions for each of them because frankly, I can't keep track of half of those. I tend to stick to the 'Heathen' label. 'Asetro', occasionally, which is 'Asatru' in Danish, which gets annoying because in some areas 'Asatru' is the Icelandic version when I basically just follow sort of what we have here... to some degree, anyway. As already mentioned, I'm not interested in wandering around in a dark forest in the middle of nowhere at night and I'm not one for big, elaborate blots. I'm somewhat of an agnostic heathen. I'm not sure any gods exist but that doesn't keep me from following them as so much of what the Norse myths teach match my own way of seeing things. Which probably explains why I don't get Freya braiding my hair or Loki hiding my car keys - because I don't expect them to and I'm not deliberately looking for signs of their possible influence. Or maybe we're all suffering from collective delusions - the whole thing with 'if you talk to God, you're religious, if He talks back, you're nuts' and all.

I live in what's basically an atheist country (with an official church where the number of churchgoers is insanely low), raised by an atheist family, and surrounded by mostly-atheist friends. I don't want to believe in nothing but I'm not sure anything is there, either.

Thus, agnostic Heathen. Doesn't stop me from buying Jack Daniels for blots or wearing a silver valknut meant in the modern-day interpretation of 'bullseye'. Occasionally, I feel stupid. And occasionally, I feel like there's nothing more right in the world for me.

(I'm babbling. I got a cold and my brain started leaking. Forgive me.)

Buzzed, part 1

Hávamál (Bellows and Thorpe translations): The Sayings of the High One - the High One being Odin. It's the "Best of Miss Manners" of the Norse. Or rather, the "How not to get yourself killed in a stupid way" of the Norse. Not to say that it's the 'Bible', so to speak - you won't find a lot of Heathens willing to admit that they believe Odin himself dictated it - but it's still good, common sense.

One of the most famous stanzas is probably this one -

Cattle die, | and kinsmen die,
And so one dies one's self;
One thing now | that never dies,
The fame of a dead man's deeds.

- but there's much more than that to be found lurking around. Advice on life, love, friendship, family, and well, how not to get yourself killed in a stupid way. It also include a section on Odin's ordeal to obtain the runes as well as a section on the use of them.

Virtues - the Guest and the Host

The Nine Noble Virtues seem to be a standard post on most Asatru-focused blogs I've seen. It's a nice, handy little list alongside "The Praiseworthy Virtues of the North" but personally, I've always been more partial to the Hávamál. Not as rules but as a guide. A lesson in good manners and thinking your actions through and being cautious around the people you're with, because you never know when someone is aiming a knife at your back.

On a side note, it's always amused me how people haul out the 'honour' issue and use it as a hammer against everyone else. Even more so when the very same people turn out to tolerate each other only for the sake of appearances and it only takes the smallest of things to make everything blow up - religion, like politics, is always a touchy topic to debate. It's srs biznez.

It isn't a big place I live in but it's mine, and I take the job of hostess seriously. Being a good host is just as important as being a good guest - nobody wants to be known as someone who lets their guests go hungry and thirsty, just as nobody really wants the reputation of being "That Person" who always gets too much to drink, smashes the plates, insults the other guests, and finishes up by puking in the sink. It's about reputation, certainly, but even more so it's about personal pride. It's my home and I want it to look its best when I get company. Sometimes, that means compromises, too - as a host and as a guest. Maybe I don't like everyone on the guest list at a party, maybe I even hate their guts, but a party isn't the right place to duke it out, verbally or otherwise. It's that reputation thing again. Sometimes, you have to suck it up and deal with it to a certain extend. Not that you have to talk with them beyond "hello", just that maybe it isn't the brightest idea to try and drown them in the gravy... even if they sort of had it coming, and any jury would deem it not just excusable but praiseworthy.

I like being a good host. Maybe it's a little too 'housewife-y' for some but it works for me.

Hammer and Chains

I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for jewellery. Silver, mostly - I love gold, gold is shiny and beautiful and so very nice, but I have the wrong looks for it, so silver it is, occasionally with bronze. I love hammers, too - gorgeous Thor's Hammers with just the right combo of weight and design, and I'm lucky in that regard as you can find those in just about every regular jewellery store over here (it certainly helps on the price, too). The only problem is finding one that wasn't meant for people twice my size. I'm not 6'2, bearded, and built like the Thunder God himself. It's that image thing again - those gorgeous, old-fashioned Mjollnirs look perfect on some people (usually men) but they'd look completely out of place on me.

In passing in a store, back in December, I noticed someone with a designer-style necklace in bronze or something similar - small coins, bronze beads, several thin chains, the whole nine yards - and as the centrepiece was a Mjollnir in bronze as well. I've never seen anything like that necklace around here and I'm guessing it was a custom piece but to me, it looked perfect. It was unique enough, with enough thought put into it, that I doubt it was just a fashion statement or because it looked cool.

It was modern, really. And I think that's what I liked the most about it - that it wasn't like most people you see wearing a hammer, that it was someone who made it their own and made it fit their own style. That's the kind of Hammer I adore the most. And that's the kind of Hammer I'll fall for every time I see one.

Characteristics of a Yuppie Heathen

Well. Not quite yuppie but the impression probably fits. I certainly feel like one when I check out various Asatru or Heathen or Norse Paganism boards. It's also why I made this blog - because maybe (unlikely) I really am the only person out there who feels out of place on those boards, but that won't stop me from ranting about it.

I don't drink. I get a hangover from practically two glasses of wine so it's not worth it. I do keep good booze in the house, though, and I'm probably a bad heathen for not offering my Gods some home-brewed stuff but let's be honest: I don't like the stuff myself. Why would I offer it to my guests, then? Never mind the fact that I'm bad enough as is in a kitchen. We don't need the added disaster of homebrewed mead.

I live... well, about as far away from actual nature as you can get here. I'll probably move out in the countryside when I have kids but so far, I'm just fine here. The parks are fine for nature. We have some pretty ones.

I'm not interested in dressing up all Viking-style or performing blots in Old Norse. I like our language - it isn't pretty but it gets the job done. And to be honest, I like my suits. I respect our history but why should we remain static? Why would the gods remain static? I respect people's right to show up in whatever they feel good in and I accept the fact that I'm sufficiently environmentally damaged from my job and education to feel completely out of place in the kindreds I've had contact with. They're nice people - smart ones, interesting ones - but not people I'd normally have anything in common with, other than the fact that we happen to worship the same gods.

I'll be honest and say that I don't get most of the 'contact with deity' discussions, either. Maybe I'm too much of a sceptic or maybe I'm just not interesting to them or maybe they just know I'll work things out of my own most of the time. Freya doesn't show up to braid my hair. Odin doesn't give me advice on seidr and Tyr doesn't show up for a friendly chat. I try to honour them through hard work and by building up a reputation I can actually be proud of. I wouldn't say I try to be a good example but I'm always aware of how I appear when I have a Thor's Hammer hanging in plain sight. I don't want to be the type of person that makes me wince and I don't want to give my religion a bad impression because I act like a moron while wearing a one-inch silver Hammer for all to see. Asetro gets enough bad PR as it is. I try not to add to it.